3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
