drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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