cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
