last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
