are you still at the devil's house?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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