I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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