I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
