i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
