I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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