This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize