Small penises have feelings too.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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