yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
