dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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