I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
