im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
