the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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