Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
