This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize