i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
