Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
