you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Never joke about your clitoris.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
