you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
