sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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