She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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