ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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