I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
