Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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