Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
