But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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