ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
