Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
