Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
