i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
