smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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