After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
