i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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