Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
