i just wanna soil my oats bro
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
