Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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