He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Randomize
