I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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