Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize