My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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