i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I skipped work to stalk him.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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