Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Randomize
