Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
