oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
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