I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
