He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
