I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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