We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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