The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
