BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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