@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
porn star boner night. come get it.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize