I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
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