my sisters under your porch take her home
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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