i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
