Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
