Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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