my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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