You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
