No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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