My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
